Hey Huns! This is one of those late night rambles I have after days of being deep in thought and questioning every aspect of my life so apologies if I'm just talking utter shite, it's what i'm best at...
Last week one of my bestest huns did her final shift with me at work, after years of working, studying and general Hunning together it was time for her to go off and shine, she was too good for the waitress life. Unfortunately crying into her garlic bread was no longer a path she wished to take and who can blame her? After we graduated a lot of the people I studied with took a variety of paths, some did PGCEs and are going to be teachers this year, others went into normal jobs because they wanted to make money, buy their own place or car, etc, some started their own businesses, some walked straight into amazing jobs and what I found most of all was that most people did something completely different to anything we had studied on our course. It has honestly been such a terrifying year. One that has certainly kept me on my toes, one that has completely overwhelmed me but one that I have enjoyed and done a lot of growth in. With two of my fave Huns moving to London together it was a great big fat kick up the ass. Soph started her new job this week and she has already done some incredible things, things that I feel like I want to boast about for her, every day she tells me something new and exciting and I'm honestly so thrilled for her and when Kate moves this weekend I will once again be an emotional, blubbering wreck but again I will be extremely excited for her and obvs insanely jealous of them both (mainly because the brunch places in London are bangin').
Although I feel like I'm losing two incredible people from my day to day life I also feel like I've gained perspective. They have both inspired me to figure my shit out. Since they announced their moving away I have done more research and planning and goal setting than I have in a long time.
I never realised how useful it was to write down the things that you want to do and the places you want to go and the stuff you want to achieve but I honestly can't stress the importance of doing this enough. It helps you gain so much perspective and helps you to figure out what it is that you want to be doing with your life.
One thing I have to keep reminding myself is how very different our life clocks are. It was very easy as I watched them plan their next steps to feel like I was falling behind, under achieving or otherwise a complete failure when in reality once I noted down the things I had done since graduating I actually had a lot to be proud of, I just needed to figure out what it is I want to do next and keep striving towards that. Since graduating I got my own place which I've now lived in for a whole year by myself, I've also had a cat for 10 months now and he's still alive so that's good, I've climbed three mountains, travelled Thailand, passed my driving theory, been promoted at work, got an acting agent, had my first acting job and my first modelling job, done my health and safety training and learnt a lot of managerial skills and although at times when I've had shifts that make me want to rip my hair out or i feel like i'm drowning in bills or i'm sat at home on a Saturday night with a cup of tea reading a book in bed that I'm living the most boring life but in truth I'm not, I just haven't got it all figured out yet and that's okay.
We see other people's showreels on Instagram and assume that our life isn't as good as theirs. I am shocking for comparing myself to others on social media and we have to remember that that isn't real life, that shows a fraction of a person's life, the parts they want you to see. We have to remember that all our life clocks are different, our lives move at different paces. Some of my friends have kids, some are married, some engaged, some are travelling the world, some are working in different countries, some are setting up their own business, some are working in retail, everyone is different. What matters most is how we feel within ourselves, where does your true happiness come from? We all have different things that make us happy. For me I love to travel, I love writing, I love fitness, I love acting, I love a variety of different things and if I was to copy the girl I see on Instagram that's instagram famous and works in Topshop and has two puppies and drives a Range Rover, I'm not going to be very happy because those aren't things that are going to resonate with me personally. Yes, I might see their life and be impressed by it but it doesn't mean we have to be those people. We all have different sources of happiness and it's so important to find out what your own source is.
Life is an ever-growing, on-going process. No matter what your age we are always learning, growing and developing. Our clocks aren't the same. Some get married early, some don't get married at all, some have lots of children, some have none, some travel the world, others prefer their home comforts, we are all different and we should be accepting of that and by that I mean accepting of ourselves. Be aware that just because one person likes something doesn't mean that you have to. The only person you should worry about impressing is yourself because that's the person you have to live with. None of us are perfect no matter what you see of someone, we all have flaws, we all have issues and all of that is just fine because it's what makes us human. Trust the timing of your life.
I truly believe everything happens for a reason, including the people we meet. These two beautiful people have taught me to always be kind, to never lose my ambition and to always try to see the positives and for that I will be eternally grateful. We may not all have lives we had envisioned when we were growing up but what's important is doing the things that make you happy, not following the crowd, being authentically and unapologetically yourself and living life to the absolute fullest.
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