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Tuesday, 19 June 2018

Love Island- The Bigger Issues

"GOT A TEXT!"



We know the familiar phrases, that familiar tune, the familiar faces we come to love or hate. We know the buzz of excitement we get when we overhear someone open up discussion on an event from the previous night's episode. For the majority of us we have ashamedly fallen hook, line and sinker for this nightly hour of drama and gossip. In a lot of family homes it's usually scheduled for a 7pm sofa sit-down of the Soaps, the familiar line-up of Emmerdale, Coronation Street and Eastenders- the addiction to keeping up with these Soaps is the excitement and anticipation of uncovering what's going to happen next.

I've heard a lot of people from older generations criticize Love Island for being a 'load of rubbish' because it's reality TV but the addiction to shows like this stems from the same addiction the older generation have to the Soaps and there are clear similarities between the two. No matter how much people say they don't enjoy Drama, it's human nature to be fascinated with the stories of other people and the on-goings in other people's lives. Have you ever had a friend message you with hints of gossip from their own life or someone else's and your eagerness to find out becomes borderline desperation. Granted, part of this feeling comes from a place of genuine care for this person but for the most part it is the lack of knowledge that draws us in, the power of new information dangling in front of us is overpowering.

The issue isn't the initial addiction with the drama of Love Island- it's the same as the huge obsession we used to have with Big Brother before it became a Channel 5 disaster. For some reason the idea of watching humans move around like Guinea pigs in the same space every night for an hour is captivating audiences everywhere. The issue for me is the lack of body diversity, in fact the lack of any kind of diversity in the show is quite frankly, disturbing. It's something we should almost certainly be opening up discussion about.

There is a clear lack of representation for marginalised bodies on the show and I think it's important that the producers of the show recognise this and change their casting habits moving forward. Granted, most people applying for the show are people that feel comfortable strutting around in swimwear to the nation for eight weeks but that doesn't take a good body (whatever that means), it takes body confidence and are you honestly going to tell me that out of all those people that applied (fun fact: more people applied for the show this year than people that applied for Oxford) that not one had a body that wasn't able, tanned or toned?

Quoted from the ITV Media website "Proving a massive success with young audiences, regularly capturing a 56% share of 16-34 viewers" 
Given that these are the audience statistics for the show you would think the Casting Directors and Producers of the show wouldn't be so oblivious to the message they are sending out to young people but in fact for another year running we are faced with the same white-washed show. Not only is it incredibly damaging that there is such a poor lack of representation for any body that isn't able, tanned and toned there is also a lack of any kind of diversity at all. The only representation of people of colour are Wes and Josh who are both light-skinned, the only female of colour being Samira.

Why is there ONE black woman on the show? Why are no other ethnicities being included? Why are they all able-bodied? Why are none of the females on the show above a size 6/8? What kind of message is this show trying to send out to it's audiences? The show is not in any way inclusive and I don't understand what their reasoning could possibly be for this. The only excuse I could think of for the show being Heterosexual and therefore not inclusive of sexuality is that the pairing might be difficult to work out, other than this I have no understanding of the selection in contestants.

In my opinion, the message the show is actively sending out is that anything that doesn't fit society's ideals of beauty is wrong. 

I listened to an episode of my favourite podcast this week 'The High Low' as Pandora Sykes and Dolly Alderton also discussed the lack of body diversity on Love Island- "Given that the average size of a woman in the UK is a size 16, this is unrepresentative." All of the contestants on Love Island have bodies that could have easily- as Dolly and Pandora put it- have come straight out of a Hollyoaks calendar- they are completely homogenized. As they also put it if the producers were worried about diversity affecting ratings they would only need to take one look at how much the Nation loves First Dates. First Dates embraces diversity in all its forms- age, sexuality, disability, ethnicity and body diversity. The Nation love this show because it reflects true society and they are able to connect with it, it presents real people. The word real seems silly to use because obviously the contestants on Love Island are real but in my opinion they are not a real and true representation of society.

My favourite quote from Dolly Alderton when they were discussing how slim bodies and body confidence are often intrinsically linked is "It's a viscous cycle because how can people over a size 8 ever have that body confidence if they never see themselves on screens or on pages." The lack of body diversity on the show encourages fat phobia which is something much of the body positive movement have been working tirelessly to diminish for years and shows like this which capture the Nation's attention are choosing to use their power to inflict fear on body types that aren't slim and toned. What's even more baffling is that Love Island are sponsored by Missguided and their new commercial often shown throughout intervals in the show is promoting diversity, how can a brand trying to promote diversity support a show that isn't?

I have noticed a lot of comments on Twitter from younger generations talking about wanting to go on a diet after looking at the bodies of the contestants, making derogatory comments about themselves and how they feel that their body looks bad in comparison. Interestingly, if you look at a lot of these overly re-tweeted comments you will notice that most of the girls in the pictures have very similar body types to those on Love Island and yet they still don't think they are good enough.

Whilst it's perfectly okay to watch what you wish and to enjoy some trash TV from time to time, it is important that we acknowledge and recognise shows like this for what they are. They are not inclusive, they are promoting poor body image and fat phobia, they are not a reflection of true society, they have just selected society's beauty ideals and given them a platform to 'find love'- which is also encouraging a message that anyone other than these ideals is undeserving of love which of course as you all should know, is completely untrue. 

Saturday, 10 March 2018

Weekend In Dublin



Now we all know I will use any excuse to go off travelling somewhere so it was no surprise when me and my friend Soph were sat talking and she sighed those words "I need a break" to which I just said "Ok lets go then?" she laughed and I stayed staring at her like this :) :) :) :) because why does everyone feel the need to make an excuse for travelling? It's so easy to say you can't afford it but it's so easy to make it affordable and to just bloody go. I have ALWAYS wanted to visit Ireland so a mini city break seemed the perfect opportunity. We decided on Dublin there and then.

We booked return flights with RyanAir which cost around £45 this included choosing where we sat because Soph isn't a fan of flying so obvs Hun picked us window seats for the sake of the Vlog! Which you can find here... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w56RpIlxotI&t=42s
 #SELFPROMO

We had booked to stay at an Air Bnb which you can find here: https://www.airbnb.co.uk/rooms/21560569. This was my first time using Air Bnb and I was not disappointed! Our place was in Inchicore which took about 20-25 mins by taxi from the airport and was about 10 mins in the taxi to the Temple Bar area. We were 15-20 mins walk from the Guinness storehouse, less than five minutes walk to Kilmainham Jail and the Modern Art Museum and five minutes walk to the memorial gardens. I loved the homely touches of our Air Bnb, the host was so warm and welcoming and she had even left creme eggs on our pillows for our arrival which I thought was the cutest thing!

We arrived into Dublin at around 5pm on the Saturday- our flight was slightly delayed but we were grateful either way as most flights that week had been cancelled due to the snow. When we arrived in Dublin there was snow, sludge and ice EVERYWHERE but it made our little adventure all the more memorable!

After arriving we got a taxi to the Air Bnb and after dropping our bags we had to rush to the Bord Gais Theatre (which is a gorgeous theatre btw!) as we had booked tickets for Cirque Berserk- a show that had incredible performers from all over, it was basically a Circus style show but in a Theatre Venue.




We hadn't eaten prior to the show so afterwards we headed to the Temple Bar area, we found an American diner type place where I had the BEST Amaretto Sour and some prawn, courgette and feta pasta. Probs going against everything I stand for by not having typical Irish food in a typical Irish pub/restaurant whilst visiting Ireland but it was fairly late for food so we just wanted somewhere quick and easy.





Does anyone else find that they are exhausted after a flight??? Between the flight, the long taxi journey, the 30 min walk to the theatre in sludge and ice, the show and then the walk to temple bar we were knackered. The Irish know how to party and the vibe around the temple bar area was amazing but after a couple of cocktails and dinner we were dead to the world. We bought Ice Cream from Cloud Nine which is directly opposite from Temple Bar- their Irish Coffee Ice cream is to DIE for. They also do amazing doughnuts!

 


After this we headed back to our Air Bnb for some much needed sleep and a cup of tea (I know I'm so Rock N Roll). We woke up the next morning very refreshed and ready for a good brunch spot and I honestly couldn't recommend Union 8 enough. It was across the road from our Air Bnb which was extremely handy because Brunch is my fave meal of the day and these guys know how to do a good Brunch and were also the most hospitable people I've ever met!



Coffee, Eggs, Avocado & Mushroom... I mean what more could you possibly want?? Also included fancy cucumber & mint water which they came over several times to top up, these guys were hitting some insane service standards!



We then went for a walk in the snow to the Irish Memorial Gardens which are absolutely gorgeous! We were actually pretty lucky with the snow as it made the gardens all the more beautiful. 


Although it was beautiful to walk around it doesn't take away from the fact that it was absolutely freezing so of course we needed an Irish coffee stop in an Irish pub...



When planning our Dublin trip I asked for recommendations and every man and his dog told us to go to the Guinness storehouse and I loved this experience! It was such a creative way to present people with the process of how it is created, I loved all the effects; the waterfalls, the quotes, the bubbles, the clocks, all the different pieces they used to reflect the process was brilliant. I thoroughly enjoyed walking around and the hosts guiding the experience were great too. Included in the ticket you get a sample Guinness and a pint of Guinness which you can either be shown how to pour yourself or you can go up to the 360 bar and have them pour it for you so we chose to do that because we wanted to see the 360 view of Dublin.








After a busy day the obvious thing to do was to head back to Temple bar for more Gin....




We then finished our day with a meal at La Dolce Vita- an Italian restaurant close to our Air Bnb where I honestly had the most incredible Nutella Fudge Brownie, I highly doubt I've had a dessert that tasted better than this. I have a MASSIVE sweet tooth and this did not disappoint.

 


Our flight home was at 6.30AM the next day and we had to be up at 4AM so although we weren't in Dublin for the longest amount of time we still had the best little adventure, the best food and we met the best people. The taxi drivers there are also something to rave about, they were throwing out recommendations left, right and centre and they were just so sweet!

If you're considering Dublin I would highly recommend it, many people told me how expensive it was but I managed to afford it on a budget (yawn, boring) so if I can you can! Go see the world Huns!

Thanks for reading, H x

Sunday, 28 January 2018

What I Know Now


I'm not Oprah so this isn't gonna be a re-run of her book 'What I Know For Sure' (which is incredible by the way) because I am not yet advanced in my time or wise enough in my years to say I know it all. I'm still learning, evolving, growing and life is beautiful that way.
BUT there is so much I wish my younger self knew which I'm just realising now in my 23rd year that would have saved me so much heartache along the way but I guess our mistakes and errors are the way we learn and what makes us human.

So here it is, what I know now....
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1. Having a man isn't having it all.

There I said it. It's not. I've been engaged to a person that manipulated me for years and I truly believed our love was everything and I was always so afraid to give it up because I felt like a failure when in reality that man didn't have an ounce of respect for me otherwise he wouldn't have treated me the way he did. Secondly, the men I chose to have relationships with always seemed to be too selfish to treat me with respect. I'm not bitter about any of that because they are all lessons learnt and I'm grateful for that because I will never again allow someone to treat me that way. Growing up I went to a girls' school and everyone was having sex and getting into relationships and declaring their undying love and I was so worried I would never find that and when I got my first relationship it was all-encompassing and I couldn't live without him- I'd defo been watching too much SATC. Looking back I created some amazing memories with those people but they were also the people that gave me insecurities that I never bloody needed. Know that this kinda love isn't the love you need to accept. Stop allowing people to treat you in a way that hurts. You matter, your thoughts matter, your heart matters. You are going to be just fine alone, it is okay to be alone, you don't HAVE to have anyone, there is no rush. Say goodbye to people that just want to waste your time. Enjoy the company of those that understand your time is precious. Learn about yourself, learn about the things you want and don't be afraid to ask for them. True love should feel good.

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2. Make meaningful relationships & show the toxic ones the door.

Following on from my first statement... I wasn't trying to say that relationships are awful. They aren't, there were times when I woke up next to the people I've been in relationships with and the sun was lighting their face in a beautiful way and I would get to kiss their face and all would be wonderful- those are the moments I wish for everyone, the moments when you're truly in love with the person. However, what I am trying to say is it is important to know when a relationship is toxic, when that person isn't adding value to your life that's when you need to put yourself first and say "okay, this isn't going to work for me. I wish you well. Goodbye." show them the door, cut all contact, etc etc. If you don't cut all ties you will end up back in their bed and you will resent yourself for it. Know when to say goodbye to people and this comes for all relationships- family, friends, romantic etc etc. Don't be afraid. Your mental well-being should always be number one. Learn to prioritise your damn self. The relationships and friendships you have should be meaningful, they should blossom with time, you should admire each other, build each other up, show compassion, be grateful. Know the difference.


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3. Ambition is everything, don't let the opinions of others prevent you from reaching your goals

I wasted far too much of my time worrying about what others had to say about me. You know you better than anybody else. I spent a full 18 months following my graduation living in a dull city, working in a role I really didn't care for all because I wanted to show that I could have it all. Look at me I'm a manager, look at me I have my own flat etc etc. All i've ever wanted to do is act and it took me until a couple of months ago to realise that I needed to take the steering wheel of my own life otherwise my life was going to ride on by without me being present for any of it. You're not a robot, don't live as one. Find what you love, the things that set your soul on fire and do them, work hard for them. There is a big difference in working hard for something you love and working hard for something you hate, remember that.


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4. What people have to say about you is none of your business

Seriously though, when people talk shit about you it speaks volumes about their own character, not yours. Going to a girls high school meant that bitchiness, nasty remarks, gossip etc were encouraged by your peers. I used to be a little bitch for it because that's all I knew, I was bullied in high school and when the girl finally left me to it I talked shit about other people. I can't imagine being that person any longer. I would say I resent that version of myself but she was clueless, she was taught by her peers that that's the way to be. It's not. What you give off to the universe will always come back to you. Give out positive vibes, spread love, it's not that deep.


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5. Stop comparing yourself- our life clocks are all different

One of the best things I've ever read is "Don't compare your chapter one to someone else's chapter twenty" that will stay with me forever. In the last year I have learnt the impact this can have on you. One of my best friends moved to London and got herself an amazing job at a media company and she gets to go to amazing events, shows, brunches, cocktail evenings etc. Another of my closest friends graduates this year and already has some amazing job offers lined up. Another one of my besties got Assistant General Manager at the gym- her dream job and this all happened within the same few months whilst I was leaving my own flat to move back into my mom's house, going from a full- time management role to a part-time waitress etc. All I kept doing was comparing myself. I was applying for jobs and hearing nothing back or getting rejected and all I wanted to do was cry. Watching my friends achieve so many amazing things and feeling like an utter failure. That's not the way to be. I started putting effort into all the things I want to do with my time. I found acting classes, I found myself acting jobs and auditions, I found dance classes I want to attend, I found places I want to visit soon, I started making plans. I'm still nowhere near where I wish to be but I've stopped worrying about what everyone else is doing and focusing on myself and it feels so good when you just take the pressure off. My friends are incredible and they deserve to enjoy all of their achievements that they have worked their asses off and some day I too will get to feel the happiness from my own achievements. Once you take that pressure off, everything feels so much lighter.

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6. Looks are never and will never be everything

Embrace your differences that's what makes you special. Aim for good health and happiness. Focus on your qualities as a person as you do with others. Criticizing the way you look isn't going to bring an ounce of goodness to you. If you allow your mind to become crowded with negative thoughts about yourself that gives you no room for the good stuff, the things that are important. Work on building your perspective, travel often, meet as many different individuals as you can so you can see that the world isn't just black & white. That nobody cares what dress size you are, what matters is the way you treat others and the way you treat yourself. Work on character building and learning about what you love and you will begin to see the greatness in who and how you are.


And last but by no means least....  life is short. Love each other. Make memories. Listen to each other. Care. Be grateful. Be kind. Cut the negativity. More self-care. Less drama. Don't let opinions of others cloud your judgement. Make your own opinions. Don't waste time doing things you don't like just to impress others. If you hate a TV show that someone recommended you know how to use a remote right? So turn it off. Use that remote for everything you need to. Turn the volume down on the bullshit and turn on the positivity. There truly is beauty in the world if you choose to see it.


Thanks for reading, H x

Friday, 12 January 2018

Sunshine Blogger Award


I can't believe how long it's been since I last did a blog post! I am for sure going to make it a goal for 2018 to get myself back to blogging again. I know some of you are eye-rolling at me bringing back the ramblings but I'm here to stay HUNS.
I also now have a Vlogging channel for even more ramblings which you can find here.
The reason I came on here today was because yesterday I was nominated by two people for the Sunshine Blogger award which is so dope!!! I was nominated by the beautiful Louise Wilkinson, you can find her blog post here. I was also nominated by my lovely friend Jess Packman and you can find her post here.
I am so grateful that they thought I would be a good nomination, I love knowing that people appreciate my writing, my vlogs, my blogs etc. I've always been very creative and being a creative person you receive a lot of knock-backs so when you get to hear good things it's always extremely uplifting!

Without further ado I am going to answer a set of the questions I was sent...


1. What is your favourite thing to blog about?

I love to blog about my travels. Travelling is so good for the soul and I am always at my happiest when I'm travelling. I love writing about the places I have visited because most of the time when I go travelling I look at other people's Instagrams & Blog posts to find any recommendations (especially for food places).

2. If you could be any celebrity for a day who would it be and why?

I would love to step into the shoes of Shonda Rhimes for a day. She is a huge inspiration to me, she has wrote so many incredible things including some of my favourite series 'Greys Anatomy' and 'How To Get Away With Murder'. I would love to see all the behind the scenes stuff.


3. What is your favourite film to watch?

My favourite film is A little bit of heaven- Kate Hudson is up there with one of my favourite actors EVER. Although the film is pretty sad it's actually strangely a feel good film, she plays the character Marley in such a wonderful way that you just want to be her free-spirited self.

4. Describe 3 things which would make a day perfect?

Good food (obviously), sunshine because it makes every day better and good company- you can't beat those people in your life that make you laugh until your belly aches.

5. If you could do one thing to change the world what would it be?

I would ensure everybody had a clean, comfortable home. It breaks my heart that there are people all over the world sleeping so uncomfortably and children living in environments so filthy that it can potentially cause death.

6. What is your favourite social media outlet and why?

I have a love/hate relationship with Instagram. Some days it makes me feel crap about myself but I have found a ton of women on there that are incredibly empowering and I LOVE hearing their stories.

7. What made you write your first blog post?

I was initially going to use this blog to post my writing pieces on and then I used it to share advice because a few people had asked about my fitness journey and then it became about a variety of things.

8. What is one thing you want to achieve in 2018?

I want to leave hospitality. I quit my job at the end of 2017 as part of management in a restaurant because it was something I got caught up in, I love the people I get to work with but acting is something I want to pursue and I have done one project this year already and I have auditions so I hope if I keep pushing some good will come of it!

9. Name your favourite youtuber and why?

I can't just name one! I love Zoella's day in the life videos which is especially why I love her Vlogmas. The way her, her close friends and family celebrate occasions is just lovely, they really value each other and I think that's important. I also love Elle Darby SO much. She is so down to earth and she's bloody hilarious.

10. What is your favourite animal?

It's a tough one. I have my cat Kovu and although he's a little shit he is so beautiful and he comes and sits with me quietly like a little furry pal. However, I went to Thailand this year and spent a day with Elephants and I just think they are magnificent.

11. If you could change one thing in your life what would it be?

I would have pursued my dreams much sooner and stopped listening to others. You know you better than anyone.


The Sunshine Blogger Award is such a good idea to spread positivity amongst the blogging community and to share the amazing work of people just starting out. We all deserve a platform to share our voices and they all deserve to be heard. The Sunshine Blogger award is awarded to people that are ‘inspirational through their positivity and creativity in the blogging community’. Thank you Louise & Jess for nominating me.
If you have been nominated by me, please follow the rules below:
  1. Say thank you in your blog post to the blogger who has nominated you, and link back to their blog.
  2. Answer the 11 questions the blogger asked you.
  3. Nominate 11 new blogs to receive the award and write them 11 new questions.
  4. List the rules and display the Sunshine Blogger Award logo in your post and/or on your blog.

The people I nominate are some amazing women and here are their Instagrams:

@sophfarsogood
@katykookaboro
@charlottedoddx
@theduchjess
@thelayoverlife
@aliceandpeanutbutter
@caitmeredith
@lilandlife
@lifethroughemseyes
@nickichanlam
@jessgearyx

And my questions are:

1) If you could say one thing to your younger self, what would it be?
2) If you could vote anyone to be President who would it be?
3) What is your favourite book & why?
4) What is it that made you start your blog?
5) If you could have any job in the world, what would it be?
6) Name a place you would love to travel to and why
7) Name an experience that has really empowered you
8) Your favourite brunch spot and what do you order? (I love food, sorry)
9) 3 things that help you to relax
10) A song that makes you want to dance round in your pants
11) 3 TV series you would encourage anyone and their dog to watch


Tag me so I can read all of your blog posts!
Happy sunshine day!
H x