I have been contemplating writing a blog post like this for some time. It wasn't until the other day that my Nanna said something that made me realise why. She said she had been looking through a box of things at home and had found all my old notebooks full of writing, stories that I had wrote when I was younger about a little girl who's Mum and Dad were getting a divorce. She said that that has always been my way of venting, to write. When I was little I didn't know how to deal with my mum and dad breaking up so I took all my emotions and wrote about it, it's been the same throughout my life. If I have a crappy time, I write about it. That's one of the reasons I started my blog in the first place. However, this blog post isn't really about me, it's about me and it's about all of my friends and any other girls or even guys that have gone through the same thing. Letting go.
Letting go of things or people is really, really hard. I don't care what anyone says, I know some people deal with things in different ways and it may not seem like they care but most people have an internal battle about it and just because they don't voice the way they feel about something, doesn't mean it isn't there. A few of my friends have been through this and I have given them advice on it but I think it's something that needs to be said. It is toxic and unhealthy for yourself to keep something or someone in your life that doesn't bring you happiness.
If you are allowing negative energy to consistently be in your life then you are in turn allowing yourself to become a product of that. I have had two past relationships that allowed me to become a negative person because of the energy I was allowing them to bring into my life. If you have to constantly question a person's motives towards you or question whether they really care about you or love you or make excuses for their behaviour then you are allowing yourself to be treated this way, you are allowing that person to take advantage. You should never mistake someone's kindness for weakness, I do not believe for a second that when people stay in toxic or negative relationships with friends, family or the person they love that this makes them weak. It doesn't, it actually makes them incredibly strong. I have excused the behaviour of boyfriends, friends and family in the past and sometimes I have done it for very long periods of time because I'm a fighter and I have a very big heart and I will constantly try to work on something before I can accept that it's over. There is only so long you can allow yourself to fight for something before you have to allow yourself to let go simply for the fact that it is necessary for yourself to because it is too heavy and you aren't loving yourself or respecting yourself by allowing yourself to be treated this way.
It does not make a person weak to stay with someone they love when they are not being treated right, i'm not saying that they should stay with that person or that it is right that they do but we live in a world where people are too often quick to judge and we should be more understanding that these things aren't easy and decisions to end a relationship can often take a lot of thought, a lot of tears and a lot of time.
How many times can you go to a friends house and cry to them over a glass of wine or say "I've had enough, I need a night out" and drown your sorrows in cocktails & tequila shots? How many times can you call your mom in floods of tears? There are only so many times you can deal with a person treating you in an unhealthy way before it starts to affect your every day life, whether you want to get out of bed in the morning, the attitude you have in your workplace, your motivation to do things. You can't find the answer to your problems at the bottom of a wine bottle. You have to eventually, at some point acknowledge when a person is emotionally draining you and when you need to let go.
There is a quote I love which says "If a person doesn't appreciate what you bring to the table then let them eat alone." I can't preach this enough, if a person doesn't appreciate the things you do for them and if they can't love you and respect you as you are then they don't deserve to be a part of your life. They just don't.
If you love someone and you care about someone, life is far too short to not let them know that. You don't know when someone can be taken from you so you should try and show them appreciation as much as you possibly can. We all have bad days and bad moods and nobody is perfect but there is always time in a day to let someone know you're there for them or you love them, even just asking how someone is, how their day is going or simply telling them you love them, it takes a few seconds. If you feel like a person isn't giving you any of their time or doing any of these things then you are wasting your breath, people have choices and if they are consistent in choosing not to ask how you are or to let you know how important you are to them then they are actively choosing to not put you in their life, it's harsh but if I want someone in my life I will always show them and if I don't, I won't.
Surround yourself with positive people and with people that show you love and respect and watch how your world changes, how your perspective changes, how much lighter you feel when you aren't being dragged down by bad vibes.
Letting go isn't easy but you have to live with yourself every day and if you aren't loving yourself and giving yourself the respect you deserve then you aren't really living for you.
I hope you all find the happiness you deserve.
H. X
