Year of yes.

I haven't planned this blog, I literally just had an urge to write. So everything I am writing right this second I don't even know where it's coming from myself, these are just words flowing onto a page. 

Let's talk about saying Yes to things.

This is probably because I have just begun reading my all time favourite book 'Year of Yes' by Shonda Rhimes, for the second time. I never realised just how much this book would change my mindset and soul, this book truly has resonated with me and I could not recommend it enough. I was in a small bookshop in NYC with my gals when I found this wonderful piece of writing- the bookshop specialised in drama and theatre and as we were on a trip with our Drama course we decided to have a wander in here for any inspiration. When I looked at this book I knew it had absolutely nothing to do with what I was studying but I just knew I had to have it. I even remember picking it up and putting it back down, trying to find something more course-related and then going straight back to it because I was so intrigued by the sub-title. At the time I had no idea who Shonda Rhimes was (I know, shoot me now), I had no idea what her shows were and I had never seen a single episode of Greys Anatomy (Christ, that's an awful thought) and if you haven't seen Greys Anatomy or Scandal or anything else this genius woman has conjured up then I strongly suggest you clear out your Sunday, buy yourself the box set or download it and get bloody watching. This woman's writing is life-changing, truly. 

If you thought life couldn't get better than an episode of Greys, you need to read this book!!!

The point I'm trying to get at (I think) is exactly what the point of this beautiful book is. We don't say yes enough. Shonda Rhimes wrote this book after deciding to take control of her life and her own destiny as such by saying yes to all those things she had been terrified to say yes to but had so desperately wanted to say yes to.

Obviously you shouldn't say yes to everything, especially the things that make you uncomfortable or anxious or something you dislike, etc. But we should start saying yes to all those things we want to do but find ourselves saying things like "I'll do that on my next day off", "When I've got a bit more money sorted", "when I've lost those five pounds", etc etc. Turn those dreams into plans people!

Stop waiting for tomorrow to come around and start doing all the things you have been DYING to get done. Even the things that take time, get researching, get planning, stay on your grind! 

It is so important that you don't work a shitty job that you don't love, it is so mentally unhealthy to be doing something you hate on a daily basis, to not be feeling positive about the life you're living. If you are unhappy with anything at all then change it! If you're in a relationship with someone that doesn't set your soul on fire, that doesn't leave you bursting with love and joy then break it off. If you're miserable in any aspect of your life it is YOUR job to change that. Life is far too short to be unhappy. Plan that trip away to that country you have been desperate to visit, tell the person you want that you want them and if something doesn't feel right don't be afraid to say that either. You don't know how long you have left on this planet so don't put things off, what have you got to lose? If you don't get the job you wanted it isn't meant to be but my god wouldn't you rather know that it wasn't meant to be rather than wondering what it would be like to even apply for it?! What if the person you like doesn't feel the same but wouldn't you rather just know? 

We often shy away from our feelings and put things off because we get used to the 'norm', we play everything safely and actually all this does is cause worry and stress. Are you that person that dreams of being I dunno say a personal trainer? But that job takes time and effort to become successful and you're afraid you will have no money security but yet you're in a 9-5 job earning the cash for those security reasons and then blowing it all on material things that in the future will have no relevance in your life? Why are you not using that money to save up so that you can finally take the opportunity of becoming a personal trainer and sack off the 9-5 job you actually hate.

You shouldn't be doing something your not absolutely passionate about, that's no way to truly live.
Your dreams and your goals and your plans and the things you do and the people you see and the memories you make are what are gonna matter the most at the end of all of this so say yes to all of those things you've been DYING to do. 

"Ever loved someone so much, you would do anything for them? Yeah, well, make that someone yourself and do whatever the hell you want." - Harvey Spencer.

I now hereby challenge you all to make 3 goals small or large of things you want to achieve by the end of this year and then go and bloody figure out how to make these goals happen! Do it for our gal Shonda.

Hope this inspires you all to get off your ass and go and do YOU just as much as this book inspired me.

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Happiness starts with yourself

Have you ever heard the saying "The happiest people don't have the best of everything, they just make the best of everything." this could not be more true.
Recently my mindset has completely improved, I have always had fuck tons of energy and been really bubbly but I was always a bit of a negative nelly too. Giving it the 'woe is me' routine every damn day must have drained the shit out of the people around me and it wasn't until I started to become irritated by negativity from other people that I realised the effect I was having on others. Don't get me wrong what others think of you is none of your business but if you find your irritating yourself with your own moaning, chances are your sucking the fun out of the party and you aren't helping yourself one bit.

It is perfectly acceptable to be sad from time to time and don't let anyone tell you different but just don't allow yourself to become consumed by negativity otherwise you will find that your life has become very miserable, just like I did.

I have been single for the longest period of time now since I was sixteen and I never bloody realised how important all this me time was for me. I spent so long in relationships and giving soooo much effort to people that didn't want at the time to give me anything in return. All that love I was giving to other people and yet I was giving nothing to myself. Relationships shouldn't be like that, they should make you feel loved and full of love too yet I came out of it all feeling empty. Not only was I missing that person but I was missing myself. I didn't know myself enough because I cared too much about learning about the person I was with. As Queen Carrie Bradshaw says "You have to fall in love with yourself first."
So here I am; months and months after my last relationship ended loving the hell out of myself and feeling much happier about myself and my life. I am now completely in touch with my emotions, if I'm having a bad day that's just fine because I know it's going to pass and I know I've survived worse things. I spend time doing things that fill me up and make me happy not things that impress other people.

The thing I have learnt the most in this whole revelation is you can't take anything for granted. You have to accept the things you can't change. I was working a crazy busy shift the other night and we were really short staffed and one of the waitresses said to me "How are you smiling like the cheshire cat right now?" and I said "We can't change this, we just have to deal with it, try your best and keep going." and that's exactly why I had a smile on my face. Yes, the shift was stressful but I wasn't allowing the stress to affect me and you know what? I didn't get a single complaint that night, nope it doesn't always go that way unfortunately but I was running round and getting as much as I could done and if things went wrong it was out of my control but the one thing that wasn't out of my control was my attitude. When you find yourself stressed, think will this situation matter to me in a years time? If it won't then don't stress about it, take a few deep breaths, get some fresh air, sip a coffee, dance it out, do whatever ya gotta do and then brush it off, put the smile back on your face and move on. Shit happens, things go wrong, life isn't meant to be easy but what does make everything a hell of a lot easier is radiating good vibes. The day you realise that some things just aren't worth wasting your energy on the sooner you can truly enjoy your life and be happy.

- If someone seems like a waste of time, they probably are, cut that off, it will only make you feel bad keeping them in your life
- Put yourself first- I mean this, have your me time, love yoself, post that picture you love even if your double chin is saying hi, don't hate on other people and don't allow others to destroy your inner peace


I know I'm rambling and I sound like a preachy parrot but trust me I have noticed a huge change in my attitude recently and I love it so I just wanted to use my little spot right here to spread the good vibes.
Thanks for reading you wonderful humans xxxxxxx