What I Know Now

I'm not Oprah so this isn't gonna be a re-run of her book 'What I Know For Sure' (which is incredible by the way) because I am not yet advanced in my time or wise enough in my years to say I know it all. I'm still learning, evolving, growing and life is beautiful that way.
BUT there is so much I wish my younger self knew which I'm just realising now in my 23rd year that would have saved me so much heartache along the way but I guess our mistakes and errors are the way we learn and what makes us human.

So here it is, what I know now....
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1. Having a man isn't having it all.

There I said it. It's not. I've been engaged to a person that manipulated me for years and I truly believed our love was everything and I was always so afraid to give it up because I felt like a failure when in reality that man didn't have an ounce of respect for me otherwise he wouldn't have treated me the way he did. Secondly, the men I chose to have relationships with always seemed to be too selfish to treat me with respect. I'm not bitter about any of that because they are all lessons learnt and I'm grateful for that because I will never again allow someone to treat me that way. Growing up I went to a girls' school and everyone was having sex and getting into relationships and declaring their undying love and I was so worried I would never find that and when I got my first relationship it was all-encompassing and I couldn't live without him- I'd defo been watching too much SATC. Looking back I created some amazing memories with those people but they were also the people that gave me insecurities that I never bloody needed. Know that this kinda love isn't the love you need to accept. Stop allowing people to treat you in a way that hurts. You matter, your thoughts matter, your heart matters. You are going to be just fine alone, it is okay to be alone, you don't HAVE to have anyone, there is no rush. Say goodbye to people that just want to waste your time. Enjoy the company of those that understand your time is precious. Learn about yourself, learn about the things you want and don't be afraid to ask for them. True love should feel good.

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2. Make meaningful relationships & show the toxic ones the door.

Following on from my first statement... I wasn't trying to say that relationships are awful. They aren't, there were times when I woke up next to the people I've been in relationships with and the sun was lighting their face in a beautiful way and I would get to kiss their face and all would be wonderful- those are the moments I wish for everyone, the moments when you're truly in love with the person. However, what I am trying to say is it is important to know when a relationship is toxic, when that person isn't adding value to your life that's when you need to put yourself first and say "okay, this isn't going to work for me. I wish you well. Goodbye." show them the door, cut all contact, etc etc. If you don't cut all ties you will end up back in their bed and you will resent yourself for it. Know when to say goodbye to people and this comes for all relationships- family, friends, romantic etc etc. Don't be afraid. Your mental well-being should always be number one. Learn to prioritise your damn self. The relationships and friendships you have should be meaningful, they should blossom with time, you should admire each other, build each other up, show compassion, be grateful. Know the difference.


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3. Ambition is everything, don't let the opinions of others prevent you from reaching your goals

I wasted far too much of my time worrying about what others had to say about me. You know you better than anybody else. I spent a full 18 months following my graduation living in a dull city, working in a role I really didn't care for all because I wanted to show that I could have it all. Look at me I'm a manager, look at me I have my own flat etc etc. All i've ever wanted to do is act and it took me until a couple of months ago to realise that I needed to take the steering wheel of my own life otherwise my life was going to ride on by without me being present for any of it. You're not a robot, don't live as one. Find what you love, the things that set your soul on fire and do them, work hard for them. There is a big difference in working hard for something you love and working hard for something you hate, remember that.


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4. What people have to say about you is none of your business

Seriously though, when people talk shit about you it speaks volumes about their own character, not yours. Going to a girls high school meant that bitchiness, nasty remarks, gossip etc were encouraged by your peers. I used to be a little bitch for it because that's all I knew, I was bullied in high school and when the girl finally left me to it I talked shit about other people. I can't imagine being that person any longer. I would say I resent that version of myself but she was clueless, she was taught by her peers that that's the way to be. It's not. What you give off to the universe will always come back to you. Give out positive vibes, spread love, it's not that deep.


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5. Stop comparing yourself- our life clocks are all different

One of the best things I've ever read is "Don't compare your chapter one to someone else's chapter twenty" that will stay with me forever. In the last year I have learnt the impact this can have on you. One of my best friends moved to London and got herself an amazing job at a media company and she gets to go to amazing events, shows, brunches, cocktail evenings etc. Another of my closest friends graduates this year and already has some amazing job offers lined up. Another one of my besties got Assistant General Manager at the gym- her dream job and this all happened within the same few months whilst I was leaving my own flat to move back into my mom's house, going from a full- time management role to a part-time waitress etc. All I kept doing was comparing myself. I was applying for jobs and hearing nothing back or getting rejected and all I wanted to do was cry. Watching my friends achieve so many amazing things and feeling like an utter failure. That's not the way to be. I started putting effort into all the things I want to do with my time. I found acting classes, I found myself acting jobs and auditions, I found dance classes I want to attend, I found places I want to visit soon, I started making plans. I'm still nowhere near where I wish to be but I've stopped worrying about what everyone else is doing and focusing on myself and it feels so good when you just take the pressure off. My friends are incredible and they deserve to enjoy all of their achievements that they have worked their asses off and some day I too will get to feel the happiness from my own achievements. Once you take that pressure off, everything feels so much lighter.

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6. Looks are never and will never be everything

Embrace your differences that's what makes you special. Aim for good health and happiness. Focus on your qualities as a person as you do with others. Criticizing the way you look isn't going to bring an ounce of goodness to you. If you allow your mind to become crowded with negative thoughts about yourself that gives you no room for the good stuff, the things that are important. Work on building your perspective, travel often, meet as many different individuals as you can so you can see that the world isn't just black & white. That nobody cares what dress size you are, what matters is the way you treat others and the way you treat yourself. Work on character building and learning about what you love and you will begin to see the greatness in who and how you are.


And last but by no means least....  life is short. Love each other. Make memories. Listen to each other. Care. Be grateful. Be kind. Cut the negativity. More self-care. Less drama. Don't let opinions of others cloud your judgement. Make your own opinions. Don't waste time doing things you don't like just to impress others. If you hate a TV show that someone recommended you know how to use a remote right? So turn it off. Use that remote for everything you need to. Turn the volume down on the bullshit and turn on the positivity. There truly is beauty in the world if you choose to see it.


Thanks for reading, H x

Sunshine Blogger Award

I can't believe how long it's been since I last did a blog post! I am for sure going to make it a goal for 2018 to get myself back to blogging again. I know some of you are eye-rolling at me bringing back the ramblings but I'm here to stay HUNS.
I also now have a Vlogging channel for even more ramblings which you can find here.
The reason I came on here today was because yesterday I was nominated by two people for the Sunshine Blogger award which is so dope!!! I was nominated by the beautiful Louise Wilkinson, you can find her blog post here. I was also nominated by my lovely friend Jess Packman and you can find her post here.
I am so grateful that they thought I would be a good nomination, I love knowing that people appreciate my writing, my vlogs, my blogs etc. I've always been very creative and being a creative person you receive a lot of knock-backs so when you get to hear good things it's always extremely uplifting!

Without further ado I am going to answer a set of the questions I was sent...

1. What is your favourite thing to blog about?

I love to blog about my travels. Travelling is so good for the soul and I am always at my happiest when I'm travelling. I love writing about the places I have visited because most of the time when I go travelling I look at other people's Instagrams & Blog posts to find any recommendations (especially for food places).

2. If you could be any celebrity for a day who would it be and why?

I would love to step into the shoes of Shonda Rhimes for a day. She is a huge inspiration to me, she has wrote so many incredible things including some of my favourite series 'Greys Anatomy' and 'How To Get Away With Murder'. I would love to see all the behind the scenes stuff.

3. What is your favourite film to watch?

My favourite film is A little bit of heaven- Kate Hudson is up there with one of my favourite actors EVER. Although the film is pretty sad it's actually strangely a feel good film, she plays the character Marley in such a wonderful way that you just want to be her free-spirited self.

4. Describe 3 things which would make a day perfect?

Good food (obviously), sunshine because it makes every day better and good company- you can't beat those people in your life that make you laugh until your belly aches.

5. If you could do one thing to change the world what would it be?

I would ensure everybody had a clean, comfortable home. It breaks my heart that there are people all over the world sleeping so uncomfortably and children living in environments so filthy that it can potentially cause death.

6. What is your favourite social media outlet and why?

I have a love/hate relationship with Instagram. Some days it makes me feel crap about myself but I have found a ton of women on there that are incredibly empowering and I LOVE hearing their stories.

7. What made you write your first blog post?

I was initially going to use this blog to post my writing pieces on and then I used it to share advice because a few people had asked about my fitness journey and then it became about a variety of things.

8. What is one thing you want to achieve in 2018?

I want to leave hospitality. I quit my job at the end of 2017 as part of management in a restaurant because it was something I got caught up in, I love the people I get to work with but acting is something I want to pursue and I have done one project this year already and I have auditions so I hope if I keep pushing some good will come of it!

9. Name your favourite youtuber and why?

I can't just name one! I love Zoella's day in the life videos which is especially why I love her Vlogmas. The way her, her close friends and family celebrate occasions is just lovely, they really value each other and I think that's important. I also love Elle Darby SO much. She is so down to earth and she's bloody hilarious.

10. What is your favourite animal?

It's a tough one. I have my cat Kovu and although he's a little shit he is so beautiful and he comes and sits with me quietly like a little furry pal. However, I went to Thailand this year and spent a day with Elephants and I just think they are magnificent.

11. If you could change one thing in your life what would it be?

I would have pursued my dreams much sooner and stopped listening to others. You know you better than anyone.

The Sunshine Blogger Award is such a good idea to spread positivity amongst the blogging community and to share the amazing work of people just starting out. We all deserve a platform to share our voices and they all deserve to be heard. The Sunshine Blogger award is awarded to people that are ‘inspirational through their positivity and creativity in the blogging community’. Thank you Louise & Jess for nominating me.

If you have been nominated by me, please follow the rules below:

1. Say thank you in your blog post to the blogger who has nominated you, and link back to their blog.
2. Answer the 11 questions the blogger asked you.
3. Nominate 11 new blogs to receive the award and write them 11 new questions.
4. List the rules and display the Sunshine Blogger Award logo in your post and/or on your blog.

The people I nominate are some amazing women and here are their Instagrams:

@sophfarsogood
@katykookaboro
@charlottedoddx
@theduchjess
@thelayoverlife
@aliceandpeanutbutter
@caitmeredith
@lilandlife
@lifethroughemseyes
@nickichanlam
@jessgearyx

And my questions are:

1) If you could say one thing to your younger self, what would it be?
2) If you could vote anyone to be President who would it be?
3) What is your favourite book & why?
4) What is it that made you start your blog?
5) If you could have any job in the world, what would it be?
6) Name a place you would love to travel to and why
7) Name an experience that has really empowered you
8) Your favourite brunch spot and what do you order? (I love food, sorry)
9) 3 things that help you to relax
10) A song that makes you want to dance round in your pants
11) 3 TV series you would encourage anyone and their dog to watch


Tag me so I can read all of your blog posts!
Happy sunshine day!
H x