I'm running. My heart is pounding through my chest. Pounding. So hard. Every part of my body hurts. Every single fucking inch of me burns. It hurts to breathe. I don't think I am actually breathing anymore, not really anyway... it's more like desperate gasps of air that cause my entire body to quiver, I don't think I'm capable of moving any further. My body is shutting down. Slowly but surely. I must have been running for miles now, my body gave up on me hours ago and now all it can do is remember this same motion. Keep moving forward. Keep moving forward. I don't know how to stop. I'm approaching a lake and there are some bushes by the lake and I know I could just stop and crawl into the bushes and calm my breathing and drink the glorious sugar filled milkshake I saved in my backpack that I could so desperately devour right now. I need to do something....anything but this god awful running. I can barely think straight. I'm near the bushes. Just stop. My legs won't. Oh fuck, please. I can't take anymore. I dive into the bushes and hurl my body onto some nettles and I can't catch my breath back and it stings. It stings so bad and I clap my hand over my mouth whilst I try and control the gasps of breath escaping me before the uncontrollable sobs begin. I'm not crying for the pain, although the nettle stings are almost too much to deal with for my current fragile, aching body. I'm crying for myself. Everything is too much to deal with. I can't let myself cry but the pain is soul-destroying and everything aches. Every fucking muscle aches and my arms are burning from the nettles and I struggle to open my backpack but I'm so desperate for sugar and my heart is pounding in my chest and every muscle aches and I can't think straight but I can't let myself cry. I swiftly remove the lid of the milkshake and gulp it back. The chocolatey goodness swirls down my throat and it's such a welcomed, beautiful feeling and it subsides all too quickly and all I feel is a sickness building up inside me because my breathing still hasn't slowed down and I'm miserable. It's a feeling that even some chocolate milk couldn't shake.
I feel calm again. Somewhere in all my hysteria I fell asleep. I don't know how I did it but maybe running for two hours had something to do with it. My body is still aching. I am still lay amongst the nettles but my body is just immune to all pain right now. I take a deep breath and try to calm my thoughts but I am scared about how long I've been asleep and how much time I have wasted. The sky is darker, the moon has started to glow and everything surrounding me is quiet. So quiet. I wonder whether I should stay here. Lie here and indulge in this quiet but I can't. I must keep moving forward.
I don't know where I'm going and I don't know what to do. I genuinely don't know how it came to this. I sit up, having to slowly peel myself away from the nettles. My skin tingles and my arms are covered in little red spots and they're aching and I don't want to get up but I have to keep moving forward. Forward. I go into my backpack and drink the rest of my milkshake, my stomach feels content once again. I'm used to going without real food. I hear something crunch. If I had moved at that moment I would have easily missed it. The lake is so quiet and peaceful that any single sound is heightened. I clamp my lips together and my whole body tenses. I am listening. Listening. Minutes pass. It feels like hours. Nothing. Maybe I imagined it. I stand, brushing leaves and droplets of soil from my clothes. I zip up my backpack and put it back on my shoulders. It feels much heavier now I have lost all sense of adrenaline. I am still tired. Exhausted, even. I start walking. Crunch. Crunch. Crunch. I freeze. I definitely hadn't imagined it. It's not the kind of crunching you hear when someone is eating. No, this is the kind of crunching you hear when someone is walking on leaves. The sound is getting louder and more frequent. I panic. I don't know which direction it's coming from. I have nowhere to hide and I have nowhere to run. I look around but I can't see anything. I can't see anyone. I have to start running again. My whole body groans at the idea of more fast-paced movement. I start jogging and the crunching stops but someone is definitely running now. They're getting closer. I don't know which direction they're coming from. I panic. I pick up my pace more and more till I'm sprinting. I can barely catch my breath. They're chasing me now, I can hear someone panting and they're running and I'm scared. I'm sprinting but they're still after me. The pants are pants of anger. They aren't struggling to breathe but I am. My pace is slowing because my body can't take anymore but I keep moving forward. Sweat is dripping off me and I can't breathe and my pace is slowing. Slowing. It's all too soon. I am forced to the floor by a heavy thick male hand and I scream. I scream so loud and yet no sound comes out. I am flipped over and I see that face. That stupid fucking familiar face I know all too well and I scream and I kick and I scream and I kick and...
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